Wednesday, November 10, 2010

voices in my head

sometimes i feel a little bit like a crazy person because i constantly have voices in my head.  i'm not talking good angel/bad angel trying to control my universe.  i'm talking imaginary voices, that i've created.  talking, gabbing, fighting, laughing... the list goes on.  and these voices turn into a conversation which eventually ends up as some scattered story in my brain that i want to hurry and write down on paper. 
so my question that i want to send out to you all... to the cyber world... is, am i alone?  am i actually a little bit crazy?  or is this more normal than i think?  maybe everybody has voices in their heads, just none of us want to admit it.  or maybe the same way some people can look at a blank canvas and create an artistic masterpiece, i can come up with drama, dialogue and intrigue in my head without even trying. 
i was in college trying to figure out what on earth i wanted to do with my life, what talents did i have, what direction should i go?  when i realized that maybe this urge, this passion, this need to create a story wasn't something that everybody possessed.  maybe it was something special.  and maybe i'd be doing myself an injustice if i didn't embrace it.
don't get me wrong, i love the constant companionship of my stories.  but there are times when i want to tear out my eyeballs just to make them stop.  just to have five minutes to lay on my pillow, put on mascara, drive to the grocery store... without this mental movie constantly rolling through my brain.
so once again, i'm begging you to tell me... to disclose your deep dark secrets. have you felt this way?  do you hear the voices, too?  are there others out there???

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