writing and rewriting and rewriting and rewriting and...

when is enough...enough?  i have nearly 90,000 words typed out on a word document that has been in process since march of 2010.  its the second draft of the original work.  the original work was, in my opinion, a bit stringy.  and now i sit here with only a few more chapters to go and i'm starting to smell a strench coming from somewhere between the ninth and twelvth chapters.  it resembles the smell of garbonzo beans and expired cottage cheese and i'm tempted to just throw the whole thing out.  hit "select all" and then "delete".  forget all about it.  pretend it was never written.  start fresh on a new, white piece of paper. 

what is this?  is there a name for this condition?  didn't i like what i had written the first time i wrote it?  and didn't i like it again when i reread it the next day and the day after that?  then why now, after all this time and work and decrease in eye vision from staring at a computer screen so long - am i so turned off by the work as a whole?

I wish it were possible to step out of my brain for a moment.  to completely erase from my mind all the words, reconfigurations, judgements and expectations that i've ever had for my manuscript and be able to just read it for the very first time.  then, and only then, would i really be able to know if i had something there.  if i nailed it. 

they say its good to step away from your work for a while.  give it a month or two and then return to it with a fresh take.  so this is what i've done.  and now tonight, after many weeks of "stepping away" i am stepping back up to the plate.  stepping back onto the stand.  ready to judge and be judged by no other person than myself.  tonight is the night.  i will pull up my document and give it one more try and then i will make my decision.

stuck

i've written myself into a corner. okay, not literally, but figuratively.  i'm working on a sequel to Second Kiss.  i've  been writing it and rewriting it for months now.  i was so excited about where it was going.  i was loving the developement, loving what my main character got to experience. 
and then it happened. 
i got stuck.
all of my plots and subplots have seemed to come to a standstill.  its like i know where they're supposed to end up and that place is wonderful and moving and powerful.  but i don't know how to get there.  and the point that i'm at now is okay, but its not great.  and i'm afraid i've made one of my main characters (one of the best characters) an extra... or even worse, a member of the stage crew.  he's barely in it.  he's barely part of the show.  and that scares me because he's what i loved best about the show.  so i'm trying to pull him back in but the story isn't letting me.  i'm trying to get to the resolution but the words aren't taking me there.  i can't tell you how many times i've stared at the words on the screen and waited for them to unfold before me.  but they aren't and i'm discouraged. 
it wouldn't be that big of a deal if i could just close my laptop for a while and think about something else.  but i can't.  my brain won't stop.  i think about it anywhere and anytime i have even a second to think about anything.  how will i get there?  how will i make it work?  what is their story going to be?
but nothing is coming.  so for now i'm just... stuck.